Monday, September 4, 2017

NEW AUDIO BOOK: You can now listen to The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary-Friends



Another day, another audio book from yours truly.

Just in time for Halloween, my Children's Halloween tale, The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary-Friends is finally available as an audio book read by the lovely Jill Rolls (http://www.jillrollsvoiceovers.com/).

Her voice is soft and soothing, the perfect accompaniment and contrast to this macabre, yet sweet story. As soon as I heard her audition I knew right that second she was the one to read my story to adults and little ones alike. Please give the sample a listen, and if you like it, guess what, you can own the entire thing. You won't be disappointed.

Miss Rolls' voice really elevated my story and I am lucky to have her contribution.

Here's the link:
The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends AUDIO VERSION

Here are links to Miss Rolls' various websites if you happen to be looking for a great voiceover artist:
https://voicebunny.com/profile/jill-rolls-82G6U3C/
https://www.voices.com/people/JillRolls
https://voice123.com/profiles/jillrolls/


K. N. Parker

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Amazon Link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends
Amazon UK link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends UK
Audible.com link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends Audiobook
Audible.co.uk link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends Audiobook





Also still on sale in digital, paperback and audio book forms
The Death of Death (Perma-Free)
Autonomously Yours













Go ahead. You can call me an AWARD-WINNING author now



Welp, it's taken a while, but now it's official.

I've been called many things in my life: Slacker, time-waster, brilliant, but stinky. But I can now add the term AWARD-WINNING AUTHOR to the list of my other monikers.

My popular novelette, THE DEATH OF DEATH, has won the Silver Award in the 2017 READERS' FAVORITE International Book Award Contest under the category Children - Fantasy/Sci-Fi.

I gotta admit, I feel kind of good about this. I've won few things in my life, and so it's an honor to receive this. 

And hey, I'm in league with Jim Carrey now. While I have my own HUGE moral issues with the man, at the very least I can say I won the same award as Lloyd from Dumb and Dumber, which would probably mean something to some people. 

But not necessarily to me. I'm just glad I won something. I'm proud of this story I wrote. The story writing business can be hard and sometimes you feel under appreciated for what you do, but awards like these can give you some validation, and that in turn will help keep the imagination flowing. 

Hey, Henry Winkler won one of these as well. Fonzie beats Lloyd any day of the week. 



K. N. Parker


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Join my Mailing list for free goodies like short stories and info on upcoming releases!
K. N. Parker's Old Timey Mailing List

Amazon Link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends
Amazon UK link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends UK
Audible.com link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends Audiobook
Audible.co.uk link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends Audiobook





Also still on sale in digital, paperback and audio book forms
The Death of Death (Perma-Free)
Autonomously Yours







Monday, August 14, 2017

The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends NOW ON SALE!



Hello all. I trust you've been well. You're well rested over the weekend and, even though it's well over two months away, you're excited for the upcoming Halloween season. But what's something sweet you can offer the kiddies that they can consume without all the unwanted calories? Oh, I know, how about a brand spanking new Halloween tale.

My new book, The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends is finally on sale. I toiled over the last months to get this ready, illustrating every illustration, typing every word, and now it's ready for you and any kiddies you might know to consume.

The illustrations have been compared to Edward Gorey–more specifically his wonderful book The Gashlycrumb Tinies. Although I was personally directly inspired by John Kenn Mortensen. But I'm sure Mortensen has been influenced by Gorey, as can be told by his equally gothic illustrations, so by happenstance, and subconsciously, so was I.

Anywho, I am extremely proud of this work. So far people seem to like it.

It's thematically and spiritually a cousin to my other work, The Death of Death, which has gotten rave reviews of its own. So if you liked that, you like Miss Blackwell as well.

It's a nice little Halloween tale about friendship, with a dash of morbid humor and the macabre. Your kids will LOVE IT!

Available as an ebook and in Paperback. The audio version will be available really soon!


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Join my Mailing list for free goodies like short stories and info on upcoming releases!
K. N. Parker's Old Timey Mailing List

Amazon Link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends
Amazon UK link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends UK
Audible.com link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends Audiobook
Audible.co.uk link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends Audiobook





Also still on sale in digital, paperback and audio book forms
The Death of Death (Perma-Free)
Autonomously Yours








Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Turning a negative (review) into a positive (review)




As a writer who put out a couple of books, that is to say, basically bared tiny selections of heart and mind to the world, you also open yourself up to criticism. And while a lot of that criticism has been wonderfully positive, a couple here and there are, of course, negative. You can't expect everyone to love what you write.

But every once in a while, whether it's because of the wording of their review or whatnot, you get a couple that you can't help but take as compliments.

And sometimes they're just downright amusing.

Below I will share a couple negative reviews that I totally took as great. And couple that are genuinely just negative and can only be seen that way, but are so comedic that even I appreciated them. Maybe I'm delusional or I hear what I want to hear, but tell me if you agree.

Here's one that I recently received for "Autonomously Yours" that I tried my hardest to see to as a negative, but if it was worded differently it could definitely be an endorsement.

"If this book was a movie, it would be rated at least R, for sexuality, language, and graphic violence. All of that was totally gratuitous. The author had a genuinely good idea for a story, but he could have pulled it off without the crude details and foul language. I really shouldn't have kept reading once I realized what this was, but some of the characters were truly likeable, and I wanted to see what would happen to them. (Unfortunately, the ending wasn't really an ending and didn't satisfy in the least.) If you are at all sensitive to graphic sex, gore, violence, or profanity, don't read this. You'll regret it like I do. I'm only giving it two stars because the characters were all unique and well developed."
A friend read this and said that the reviewer basically told everyone they couldn't put the book down. That's definitely a positive in my book (pun intended).

My favorites are the "This part was great, but..." types, like this one.

"If you like stories about robots or ever had fantasies about a sex slave you may enjoy this story. Was written pretty well, but lots of foul language and perverted imagery. Interesting "what if" syfy story. I got it free so can't complain, but glad I didn't shell out 2-3 bucks for it."

Here's a couple for "The Death of Death":

Here's the title of one review. It's still one of my favorite negative reviews, mostly because of the title.

"Death of good grammar"

It took the title of my book and turned it on its head, using it to insult it. I thought it was inventive.


Here's a 1 star review that didn't like any aspect of my story, from a poorly structured story, to too many run-on sentences.

"There are too many conflicting statements made in regard to character and scene development. I understand the age group this book was written for is young but the structure of the story makes no sense for any age group. Entirely too many descriptives used. Way too many run on sentences. I wanted to erase this story from my library after the first paragraph but the ONLY reason I continued was to find out if the writing got any better. Unfortunately it did not. The idea for the story was good but it was poorly written and the author got off topic in a lot of areas. The scenes and descriptions of all aspects were poorly set up. Once the twist is revealed the rest of the story makes no sense and honestly half of the story could have been left out altogether. Don't waste your time reading this unless you feel like losing a lot of brain cells."


I love that ending jab. Not entirely original, but this has always been a great put down in my opinion.

This person said it read like a "high school English paper." Hey, some high school English papers are really good.

"I just couldn't get into this book. The writing was very unpolished. It was like reading a high school English paper. I couldn't even make it past the first chapter. The characters didn't speak in unique voices. The author used the same tone and vernacular for a 12 year old that she used for a timeless death guide. It was just too unprofessional and uninteresting. I love the cover, but the concept flopped for me."
At least they liked the cover. That's a win for me. 

This will entirely sound like bragging, but I think I can laugh at these because I have many others that are positive. I wonder if I'd be laughing if my bad reviews outweighed my good ones. That day will come, though, and I have to prepare myself for it. This is good training for the inevitable.  




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Amazon Link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends Presale
Amazon UK link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends UK




Also still on sale in digital, paperback and audio book forms
The Death of Death (Perma-Free)
Autonomously Yours









The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends - PREVIEW ART - #4: The Main Character, Martin

In the lead up to the digital release of my book, The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends, (paperback already available for those of you who are impatient) I want to share with you some of the artwork to be featured in the book.

I plan to show at least one or two unfinished drawings a week until August 14, and perhaps a bit after that date as well. I lost many hours of sleep adding color to these, so dagnab it, I'm going to show you the fruit of my labor.... soon. But for now, here some sketches that have yet to be slathered with digital paint.

For the 4th illustration, you get an illustration of one of the main characters of this story, Martin.



I like this little fella. Some think he's based off of myself, but I don't see the resemblance, personally. He's 9 and I'm a 37-year-old man. I suppose it isn't impossible for a guy in his mid-thirties to look like this, but I just don't. 

He's a black kid from England and he likes stories of ghouls and goblins, and monsters and dragons. He also pretends they are real because thematically, the macabre brings him joy. 

I enjoy the serene look on his face here. I didn't quite get the same effect on the other drawings I did of him so I appreciate this one most. 

I hope you enjoy the little adventure I send him on. 

Thanks for peeking into my brain. Be careful of what peeks back.





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Amazon Link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends Presale
Amazon UK link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends UK




Also still on sale in digital, paperback and audio book forms
The Death of Death (Perma-Free)
Autonomously Yours











Saturday, July 29, 2017

The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends - PREVIEW ART - #3: Unnamed Terrifying Sheet Ghost

In the lead up to the digital release of my book, The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends, (paperback already available for those of you who are impatient) I want to share with you some of the artwork to be featured in the book.

I plan to show at least one or two unfinished drawings a week until August 14, and perhaps a bit after that date as well. I lost many hours of sleep adding color to these, so dagnab it, I'm going to show you the fruit of my labor.... soon. But for now, here some sketches that have yet to be slathered with digital paint.

For the 3rd go around, here's one of the first designs I had in mind.

An unnamed Ghost. Perhaps you the reader can give these things some names.

The image I had for him was that of the purest of ghosts, a sheet with holes for eyes. Truthfully, he resembles myself quite a bit.








Again, I'm feeling generous so you get two for the price of one, which was free anyway, so, double the luck. 


Thanks for peeking into my brain. Be careful of what peeks back.



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Amazon Link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends Presale
Amazon UK link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends UK




Also still on sale in digital, paperback and audio book forms
The Death of Death (Perma-Free)
Autonomously Yours





Thursday, July 27, 2017

The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends - PREVIEW ART - #2: Unnamed Ghoul

In the lead up to the digital release of my book, The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends, (paperback already available for those of you who are impatient) I want to share with you some of the artwork to be featured in the book.

I plan to show at least one or two unfinished drawings a week until August 14, and perhaps a bit after that date as well. I lost many hours of sleep adding color to these, so dagnab it, I'm going to show you the fruit of my labor.... soon. But for now, here some sketches that have yet to be slathered with digital paint.

For my next picture let's go with....

Another unnamed creature, a Ghoul.

Again, another monster that only occupies young Martin's mind but poses no actual threat.







You get him in his sketched and soon-to-be-edited forms. Aren't you lucky. 

Unlike the witch, I had no real idea of what to make of this guy. He was improvised on the spot, yet he turned out to be a design I really enjoy. 


Thanks for peeking into my brain. Be careful of what peeks back.





Amazon Link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends Presale
Amazon UK link: The Deceased Miss Blackwell and her Not-So-Imaginary Friends UK


Also still on sale in digital, paperback and audio book forms
The Death of Death (Perma-Free)
Autonomously Yours